all right so this is our before and after grid and yeah what this does is it’s description of the avatar this is the person’s before state what do they have you know all this before working with you and going through your program or product and then after what does this picture look like and when we right through this exercise it’s easier for us to clear the different see the difference and then create a box from there so okay let’s talk about these these healthcare healthcare leaders here we got faith based women in healthcare [Music] right so okay um talk to me about like well you can pick whichever one is easy easiest for you to start but what do they what do they have before working with you um they have a level of worldly accomplishment but like all there’s a level of inner turmoil air turmoil about what um life uh happenings in life relationships that aren’t working to the degree they wish the pull of being responsible in multiple you know domains at home for the kids at work so how does that make them feel overwhelmed and tired so they’re overwhelmed they’re just spent yeah pulled in too many directions yeah right let’s see i’ve written down in the past even confusion overwhelm sadness anger feeling disempowered and they might be stuck in a victim mindset even mindset how do they feel physically um sluggish tired now some work out and some are very i would say even obsessed it’s kind of like you know the other direction yeah the other direction yeah very obsessed with um working out weight weight conscious worried about the number on the scale um not really even though we’re in healthcare we think about the health of other people but we’re not necessarily focused on our own so it’s it’s sometimes uh one one end of the spectrum of the other i’m obsessed with my physical health but i just don’t know how to take care of my inner health and i would say that’s more even in the younger generation i see that a lot you know very very physical health conscious yeah but not so much emotional and spiritual health and they don’t understand the connection holistically really yeah um so when they’re when they have they got some worldly accomplishments they got this inner turmoil about life and family um work work life balance is usually off so what they are all they don’t have work-life balance right no yeah they have an unbalanced life yeah don’t have balance which so they don’t live with peace and tranquility very you know low levels of hope that really things can change in the future because you just have to do what you got to do so what do they go through on the average day that that statement you just said stood out to me i got to do what i got to do so what on an average day what does that kind of look like for them uh disconnect and do your duty you like emotionally yeah absolutely yeah i mean so they’re ignoring their personal self care and and health care and then disconnect um emotionally and do your duty yep is that is this something that you have you have to do to do the the job that’s like a healthy thing or is this a negative thing oh well you know there’s it seems like there’s a lot it’s too it it’s to the negative because yes you do have to manage your emotions you can’t break down crying every time a patient dies right you have to be emotionally healthy and able to feel without your emotions taking over so that’s an appropriate management of your emotion but you don’t disconnect where you don’t feel anything and i think that’s the difference between almost like disassociating versus healthy emotional management many people because of traumas in their life honestly i think we have thousands and thousands of people who are really disassociated from their body if you will it’s like i was gonna say it’s feel it’s i get the impression that they’re like floating or like numb yes right they’re not present when you say be present they don’t know how to be present and why well i think it’s a it’s a spiritual issue it’d be due to traumas and lies and uh you know it’s it’s a healthy mechanism of surviving whatever environment you’re bro brought up in and the enemy uses then of course those opportunities during those wounding episodes during your childhood where you just learn to disconnect you know what you can’t hurt me if i’m not here you know i mean think about the atrocious abuses that go on you know i’ve i’ve had women say they just they left their body they left their body yes in that amazing and then that now they have fractured souls if you will you know and all of these wounds the wounded child inside whether it was a wound because of atrocious you know sexual abuse or the wounded child because of what you didn’t get you know it’s not like you got physical emotion or physical and sexual abuse you know you think of trauma big t that way but you know everyone’s faced trauma in the past lots of little t’s you know death by a thousand paper cuts so to speak right and so depending on your level of support and being able to tell the truth and feel your feelings and give that to god over the course of your years depends or it it delivers you as a package into adulthood with a certain set of dysfunctional coping strategies one of which is to disconnect or disassociate so when things are tough at work you know what i can do my duty i’ve i can do the functional tasks but i’m not really present emotionally for this other human yeah yeah it’s like uh like you ever talk to someone and they’re not really listening oh yeah you know like uh oh sorry k what was that you know right like all the time right right yeah so the lack of being able to be present learn to manage no present okay cool so yeah oh and so i want to show you show you this here too um speaking of disassociation this is a book i have about to about to read can you read that yes uh-huh who who wrote it examining ancestral yes yes some friends of mine uh big time deliverance minister uh travels the country instead yeah jay bartlett and dr rana sullivan interesting okay i wonder is his wife beverly bartlett i wonder um i don’t know huh interesting they live in california they live in california okay it’s not the same bartlett’s then okay yeah he’s he’s great they got a lot of good a lot of good stuff um all right so talk to me about their status before working with you what’s the what’s the status they have um again there’s there’s worldly success but something’s missing and they know it okay i make a good living i might even have accolades i might have even climbed the corporate ladder [Music] but i just feel like something’s missing i’m not really sure i found my purpose in life i’m not sure i’m making the right impact in the world so they may have like high world lead or social status it doesn’t mean anything it means something and they’re glad they have it but it’s like there’s still something missing within them they know there’s more to life there’s got to be more to life yeah so they’re unsatisfied yes that’s good all right cool all right so let’s talk about good versus evil this is um i’ll just get let’s look at the dm thing so evil what is evil that is plaguing the prospect in their before state and how does your prosper conquer it and bring it bring more good to the world in the after state so let’s focus on before what’s the evil that is plaguing uh this our healthcare leader um in other words like what’s their big problem what’s their challenges that they know or they think or like in other words whatever i know i know that what’s plaguing them is um the enemy yep you know and his his his destruction his plan to steal kill and destroy to cause them to think that their identity is their career or their identity is their children are their children basically their identity is lost in their role that’s an evil um believing just in general believing lies about who they are believing lies about who god is in their life believing lies about how to relate to others um just that whole package of false beliefs and the inability to let go of what is not serving them well um so they see themselves in their identity and what they do they have false beliefs um about themselves and they have an inability to let go of what’s not serving them so oh yeah and yes there’s they’re stuck and they they don’t see how they’re um they don’t see the connection or the benefit or the roi i’m not sure how to word it in investing in themselves investing in self-care they might even think that it’s selfish i used to think that yeah yeah um that you know focusing on me is selfish um it’s it’s not really necessary i mean i’m working out at the gym so i don’t need to you know get caught up in all that woo-woo stuff or you know a lot of christians even you know it’s like okay i read my you know devotional little blog that gets sent to my inbox every day so that’s that’s my spiritual food i’m good my jesus calling for 30 seconds yes exactly no no no no and i i see where that’s you know that’s an evil when you think that you can take a quick hit of some devotion i mean it’s not a bad thing but you are settling and i guess that’s if i had to like think i want people to not settle they’ve settled that’s where the thrive work comes in because the transition is from mediocrity to thriving yes absolutely let’s write that down but that’s that’s the change the space right to let go of your status quo to throw it away and turn towards you know the exceptional life exceeding above the world being exceptional and being confident and comfortable with yeah i’m not like the world i’m exceptional yeah this is good this is good so let’s let’s do this is a great time let’s do the the after part now okay present with that so after they have worked with you you know six six months what do they have now af afterwards before they had all those worldly accomplishments no balance no peace no low hope poor communication what do we got now well i think the confidence to be exceptional the confidence to be a positive outlier the confidence to stand in your true identity the confidence to be authentic like no matter where you are you’re just you’re real right you’re real like whether it’s in the boardroom or it’s at home or at the grocery store you just are you don’t have to put on any particular um mindset not that i mean obviously we all for the audience with which were speaking you’re you’re attuned to their needs and how they listen and how to present but it’s not like you’re um having to fake it because you don’t have the imposter syndrome because you’re not faking it so i would say and after is they get rid of that imposter syndrome so probably one of the evils before is the imposter syndrome and they’ve settled into living with that cognitive dissonance if you will oh yeah great word so we got there after they feel well they have this could go either one have or feel confidence to be a leader an outlier they own their identity they’re authentic always before they had no peace now they have peace of mind yeah optimism yeah what else um he said poor communication before you know we say yeah they’re able to they’re able to communicate with anyone whether it’s someone high in the social or corporate ladder you know or lower it’s like of it doesn’t matter who you are or your educational background or your socioeconomic background you’re comfortable in your skin with other people yeah like what what i’m remembering now like some experiences i’ve been in the hospital a lot because all my injuries but anyway thanks skateboarding um anyway um i remember a lot of experiences with doctors or admin people or even nurses especially um being sarcastic passive aggressive yeah um all these kind of crooked communication and yeah why am i getting this from this person like i just met this person why is this coming out crooked here and i think it’s been so long on autopilot sarcasm is like language number number two that i’m on autopilot wreaking havoc and tearing people apart wherever i are i am supposed to be a nurturer yes right that’s a good i would even jot that down somewhere it’s like before crooked communication skills sideways anger sarcasm and you know people don’t even realize how unhealthy that is right basically all these unhealthy communication things yes [Music] so and what did we say after clear it’s confident clear and compassionate you know you know it’s the three c’s it’s compassionate curious candid communication all right cool this is i’m starting to feel the promise stuff all right let’s keep it going um is it okay if we go a little bit over time today yup yup i don’t have a noon appointment so that’s good okay one second let me check myself okay sweet yes all right cool let’s keep going okay all right so let’s see how do they feel now because before the average day they felt they felt overwhelmed tired spent pulled in too many directions sleep deprived even confusion mental fog sadness anger disempowered possible victim mindset i’m sluggish and i’m unsure how to care for my inner health how do i how do i feel now after working with you um empowered to be me um peace confidence i think confidence is a big one yeah energy energy yeah physical energy taking doing more self-care and yeah eating habits all that physical energy peace confidence how about rested yeah well just tell me more about your after place because you’re imagine you’re in the after state and and at one point you were in the before yeah no i just um you know it’s a matter of degrees too i was never i thankfully i was never completely in that before because i always had the lord and he was you know he was there with me giving me clarity and a sense of being a nurturer you know and i even though i saw others around me like that it was like and i certainly had periods of confusion because of different events in my life or whatever there was still a sense of peace and confidence that even if i didn’t understand everything even if i couldn’t control everything i knew he had me um so it’s more just that inner strength and confidence it’s peace in the midst of the storm it’s um it’s rest because you don’t have to figure it all out you know it’s the ability to be present because you don’t have to hide um i feel like my i’m trying to say uh i feel like i now have a higher tolerance for things not necessarily going the way that i want or that i think they should yeah um yeah it is it’s tolerance tolerance for tolerance for broken people in the broken world you know yeah so patience patience there you go yeah all right cool so this is very very different we went from overwhelmed to empowered right tired and spent too peaceful and well rested to you know uh i don’t even want to be in my own body to secure and self in my self image and only feel equipped and prepared i got a high tolerance for things that don’t go my way that are disagreeable i got patience quite the transformation yeah right so yeah i think it’s and i don’t know i’ve um i’ve kind of jotted out my phases uh oh are you there yeah i’m here okay my phone like gave me a battery warning so then it went black for a minute but um it’s like moving through the phases of clarity and competence to confidence or you know embedding within the person [Music] you know greater integrity or character and your capacity when you were talking about your threshold or your tolerance level i’m thinking about your capacity you can you can hold space for more um because of your confidence and your character in christ uh you know you’re you’re more competent now to apply god’s wisdom into any given situation and to love one another love others where they are instead of you know i don’t know putting down the skateboarder that you think is a fool for doing whatever he does right it’s like you don’t have to put him down and try to shame him into never doing that again i mean you’re not that’s not your place right yeah man you’ve been in the doctor’s office with me or something i’ve worked in an er before i know how things go so now that that this person is is much more in this this healthier spot what’s what’s their average day look like when they’re at home when they’re where they’re going to work what’s the average day now joy yeah you know i think the joy of the lord is our strength you know what it’s like you just have joy yeah and you can you can you can facilitate i i was telling i even tagged this with my daughter the other day i’m like how do you increase the joy factor in your home how do you incr increase the joy factor within your children you know what if it snows in april you let them go play out in the snow before snow before school because it brings them joy you know it’s like you don’t have you’re spontaneous that’s great so the average day they feel joy contentment i wrote they feel ready um let’s look at what they didn’t have they were before they were ignoring their personal self-care health care disconnected emotionally and disconnect emotionally and do your duty i have learned to manage you have to learn to manage their emotions they’re floating numb no not present still dealing with the effects of trauma lies and etcetera so let’s let’s go with some opposite to that [Music] so can we what’s the emotional regulation yeah there healthy emotional regulation um you know instead of flow it’s present you are present and to me it’s it’s i i’ve got a visual it’s like instead of living life in black and white you’re now living in full color that’s good i like this but as far as let’s say floating numb present so it’s yeah you’re able to be present you’re clear minded you’re confident you’re competent you’re courageous to stand as the exception and not apologize for not being like all of the other negative nellie’s in healthcare yeah we’re communicating using our own voice and speaking our truth what does that mean in this context like standing up for yourself kind of thing or boundaries or what do you mean um well yes all of that um standing up for yourself using healthy boundaries and then empowering others to do the same you know it’s it’s it’s loving others where they are and i don’t know being the light you know it’s kind of like okay that’s where you are and i don’t have to try to shame you for where you are but i don’t have to hide my light either see before they felt like they had low hope if any and now their average days they’re a bringer of hope yes absolutely cool so what’s the new what’s the new status for them how do they feel about themselves like and i think they finally feel fully alive they feel contentment and peace and joy they know they’re living in their purpose they know they’re on the right path if you will they’re okay with not living in the status quo um so how okay being okay living above new york yeah yeah yeah it’s that excellence committed to excellence yeah cool this is so cool love it all right so that now what’s the good they they have in the world the evil before from the enemy was imposter syndrome cognitive dissonance the identity is what you do false beliefs about themselves inability to let go of what’s not serving them they’re blind to investing in self-care and focusing on themselves i think that’s a really big one yeah so now they’re um i think they’re clear that i don’t know how to say it they’re clear that now so in this exists example here on the left can you see this okay uh-huh yep on the left they had a vic victim mentality victim of traditional university model this is uh their customers digital marketers okay and now the good is they’re no longer a victim they’re actually the leader helping train the leaders of the future yeah now we went over here from imposter syndrome like survival mode ignoring my body and my emotions and all that to to what well respected as a i don’t know like that healthy example of a leader of a leader you know you’re a leader that’s i mean that’s the end part is they become they become the leader that they were supposed that they were meant to be right they’re all leaders we identified at the beginning of this call their their leader because they came into this industry right they’re not they’re not necessarily showing up like that because they’ve got they’re not healthy right yeah you now are a leader with a vital advantage yeah you know you’re recognized as exceptional you’re you’re you’re thriving i mean i it sounds like a trite word because it’s overused in a lot of places but you are thriving literally you’re not just surviving any longer you’re not surviving at the top you’re thriving at the top there we go business,ron gelokall right so this is our before and after grid and yeah what this does is it's description of the avatar this is the person's before state what do they have you know all this before working with you and going through your program or product and then after...Doing business God's way